Yatesing

#Yatesing The Sensation Sweeping the 713

You heard about it on Houston’s Spots Talk 790.
Jay Glazer raved about it on his critically mentioned “The After Party with Jay Glazer”. 
It has probably come really close to trending on Twitter. 

What am I talking about?

Yatesing.

Surebud.net   has been flooded with faxes, pages, and rotary phone calls from people   asking us, nay, begging us to reveal exactly what Yatesing looks like.

Before   we get into that we must first explore the origin of the man, the myth,  the John Legend fan (much better joke in my head).  T.J. “snow Leopard”  Yates was born on May 28, 1987 in Marietta, Georgia. T.J. had an  uninteresting childhood and then went to high school.   During his first  three years of high school he dominated the local Glee scene. T.J. sang  his way to the Glee top and took his Glee squad to Glee regionals his  junior year. Unfortunately, he was unable to compete at regionals due  failing a performance enhancing drug test.

Disgruntled,   bored and pretty roided up, he decided to try out for Marietta’s local   High School football team his senior year. The Marietta ”Zebras” were in  the market for a punter/quarterback to come in and give the ball to the  other team every four downs. T.J. stepped up to the plate. Because Marietta doesn’t have a local paper or the internet, it is unclear how the Zebra’s faired that year. What we do know is his performance landed   T.J. a football scholarship at one of the greatest Basketball schools in  these United States.

T.J.’s   first day of orientation at the University North Carolina proved to be a  day that would change his life. It was that day that Susan Mary  Cranstan sat in front of him in the “picking your Major” meeting. T.J.  was stunned. He had never seen a girl of such beauty. When the lecture  was over he tried to get the nerve up to go and talk to Susan but he  ended up following her to the local Pizza Hut Express on campus. Sitting   a few tables away he stared at Susan and her friends while pretending to drink a diet Pepsi (nobody really drinks diet Pepsi). After lunch,  T.J. tried to get up the nerve to speak to Susan again but ended up just   following her to her dorm room. Guessing correctly the window that  belonged to Susan, T.J. watched as she began decorating her dorm room  with her roommate.

T.J.’s   lawyer was able to get the charges reduced from stalking to loitering and he was required to do 40 hours of community service. His first  experience with the “ladies” led him to commit his college career to  football. It was because of that decision that he ended up doing really good and getting drafted in the 5th round of the NFL draft by the Texans in 2010.

T.J.   immediately made a name for himself on the Texans practice squad by  being the only guy who wasn’t grossed out by taking a direct snap. When Matt Schaub suffered a season ending broken genital and back-up  quarterback Matt Leinart discovered a lump halfway through the Texans  second game against the Jaguars of Jacksonville, T.J. did what he was  born to do…. He dominated.

The next week the Texans squared off against the Atlanta Falcons and before   the game an avid Texans fan (it was me) tweeted the following:

T.J. Yates is the next Tim Tebow. #Yatesing 

After that, T.J. Yates and the term Yatesing took over the world.

So what is Yatesing?

Well it looks and feels like this

Surebud.net   will be collecting and posting pictures of people Yatesing. If you or someone you know has the stones then send us a pic.

*** Note*** some or all of the facts in this post are unconfirmed.

Posted on December 27, 2011 and filed under Sports.