Gear Head: Midseason Bottom 5 Uniform Developments of 2013

The Gear Head has immersed himself in the developments of college football teams in 2013. Some developments have been good. Some have been vomit inducing disasters. We're really only interested in the latter for this list. So gird your loins, these are the Bottom 5 Uniform Developments of 2013.  

5. Utah's Topography on a Glove 

The kids really love topography these days. Why don't we put it on a glove! I wonder how many Utes sat in silence before their game with Stanford on Saturday night, looking at their hands and wondered what the elevation difference was between Altamont and Black Rock. The answer was literally in the palms of their hands.  

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4. Southern Miss's Whole Uniform

I hope these were free because if you paid for any part of this you've defrauded the people of Mississippi. And those poor souls have been through enough.  

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3. No UConn't

Points for trying something here. Major deductions for EVERYTHING ELSE. At least the product on the field hasn't been as bad as these helmets. Yes, I am aware of how bad the product on the field has been.

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2. Hoosier Helmet Designer

In the race to be the Oregon of the Big 10, Indiana slipped and fell into this helmet. Yes those are stripes, yes it does look like a giant peppermint. Want to go from horrific to utterly terrible? Chrome it out bro.  

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1. Miami of Ohio, Also Known as "Miami of OH my Goodness"

Where to start? Perhaps with a quiet moment of soul cleansing reflection. The helmets are also found at Rock-n-Bowl. The Jersey's shoulders may be the worst thing since MLB did those horrible "Turn Ahead the Clock" jerseys. The the jersey font. Stop it. Miami of Ohio fired their coach a few weeks ago. Lucky bastard. If kids like these unis then arrest those kids because they are doing drugs that you and I cannot comprehend and must be stopped.
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Posted on October 15, 2013 and filed under Southwest Round-Up, Sports.