Suburban Jungle

Suburban Jungle six.jpg

Meeting Ralphie

I have no filter. And I know a lot of people say that they don’t have a filter, but I really don’t have a filter. Sometimes I just start talking, to get a laugh, and do not think about what comes out. It usually gets me into a lot of sticky situations, but sometimes makes for good stories.

Right out of college one of my friends was getting married and I had the chance to be in it. It was such a fun wedding because all of my college friends were in it, it was like our last time all together. During the rehearsal dinner, my friend leaned over to me, in a whisper, and said “I think Ralphie from A Christmas Story is here.” {I don’t know if you have ever been in a situation like that, when a friend, in a sarcastic tone, says “Look, Brett Favre is here.” The reason for that is because he looks similar to the quarterback, so everyone has a good laugh.} This is what I thought my friend was doing. So in my infinite wisdom, I started looking towards the door, looking for him saying “Oh, where. You’ll shoot your eye out. Little Orphan Annie decoder ring. Meatloaf beatloaf, I hate meatloaf.” And continue quoting lines from the movie as I look around the room. My friend is grabbing my arm telling me to shut up, the lines just keep coming, and I am looking at the door waiting for the Ralphie look-a-like to walk in. Finally, Pat grabs me down into my seat, gets up in my ear and says “He is sitting right behind you.” I slowly turn around and see him staring at me, to which I respond “Great meeting you.”

The whole meal I feel like crap because I did not want to be that guy, even though I did everything in my being to actually be that guy. As we are walking out, I am kind of down and quiet, and my friends asks what was wrong. I tell him I just feel bad for doing that. He says “It’s ok, I am sure he has forgotten about it.” I say “I know, but I feel so bad for saying that stuff and being obnoxious. I mean I was saying that to him. I got to meet the Dirt Bike kid and I was saying that stuff. To the DIRT BIKE kid!!” Turning the corner, saying that real loud, he was sitting there waiting for the elevator. He glared it me. I took the stairs. It was not a shining moment for me.

(He was there because he was dating a friend of my friend, this is not a made up story and I am not some famous guy that lives in California.)


Posted on October 2, 2013 .