Did you notice the baseball playoffs are going on? Isn't that cute. Bud Selig scheduled 4 + hours of pitching changes, third base signs, pitch outs, and spitting on a college football Saturday. How dare you Bud Selig! It's week seven!
All Times Lone Starry.
Arizona at Southern California, Fox Sports 1, 9:30
Our Thursday kicks off with our FAVORITE new coach, YAW, YAW, YAW FOOTBALL is back. Rich Rod has no idea what he’s walking into. Coach O will bust that shirt off in an instant, wrestle a gator, and make out with Mrs. Rodriguez before old Rich can plug in his headphones.
Oklahoma vs. Texas in Dallas, ABC, 11 am
Our earliest Hammer Fight of the Season! Rest up, get some cereal in you, and then get ready for a little Red River Shootout. We still call it the shootout because no one's been able to point me to any hard data that says young thugs anywhere turn in their weapons upon hearing that a shootout is now called a rivalry.
But I digress, Why does it matter? Because this is (fingers crossed Texas fans) Mack’s last run in with Bob and Mack would love nothing more than a good, solid hand clap after a Longhorn win. Plus OU likes to come south on 35 to poach 18 year-olds and transport them back to Oklahoma. Has anyone alerted the authorities to this?
We’ll take OU, but you can throw the records out on this one.
Actually Texas is hoping we can literally throw the records out.
After the second UT fumble is overturned on review get thee to…
Missouri at Georgia, ESPN, 11 am
Mizzou has done got uppity after going 5-0 against MAC level competition. The Tigers travel to Athens to take on the Dawgs who, after last week, can only suit up 9 healthy players, but hey ladies Aaron Murray is one of them.
Once Georgia runs out of guys go ahead and find…
Florida at LSU, CBS, 2:30
Could it get much uglier than this? Florida is literally allergic to offense. LSU has recently discovered offense, much like our cavemen ancestors discovering fire - lots of confusion and senseless burning. Give the Gators credit, they went up to Lexington and beat up on the Wildcats. Ok, don’t give them too much credit for that.
After Les Miles has his second helping of stadium turf, tune into…
Baylor at Kansas State, Fox, 2:30
So Baylor’s real tough when they’ve got a bunch of touchdowns to clobber a guy with. This is the first time the Bears leave the 254. Bill Snyder is a confirmed wizard. He’s also got two quarterbacks. When one is in the game he throws the ball, not well mind you, but he puts it up. When the other is in the game he runs the ball. They are of different ethnic backgrounds. It doesn't exactly take spy-gate to scout the 'Cats.
After Snyder’s nap and pudding break get it to…
Oregon at Washington, Fox Sports 1, 3
Now, I’m not saying that I don’t respect the sanctity of the SEC but Washington has the greatest stadium in college sports. Oregon travels north for its first test of the season. UW's Sarkisian could be the most highly regarded coach in the world who’s never really beaten anyone who’s you know…good. Could this be his week?
After the rain stops find…
Texas A&M at Mississippi, ESPN, 7:30
Tasty. A&M travels to Ole Miss, AGAIN, to take on the Rebs. Ole Miss has watched their season implode in the past two weeks, you know right about the time Book of Manning debuted on ESPN. Coincidence, Cooper doesn’t think so.
A&M has had an off-week to install a new concept known as defense. We'll see how this goes.
After Johnny Football quietly puts up big yards but is ignored because he doesn't respect the game (this is aimed at you Mark May) flip over to...
Oregon State at Washington State, ESPNU, 9:30
Oregon State and Wazzou go at it in Pullman. Usually this would be a snoozer but don’t forget, the Pirate roams the pacific northwestern seas now. Nah, your right, Oregon State wins big. That's what happens in the wild when a Beaver squares off with a Cougar.
South Florida at UConn
This one will qualify as our Pillow Fight of the Week. Congratulations are in order for the American Athletic Conference for landing these two titans. UConn’s already fired their coach, USF wishes they could. This may be the only time in history that a team has longed for Skip Holtz' to return.
Western Carolina at Auburn
The State of Vermont welcomes you once again to the Woodshed Game of the Week. While we’ve got your attention, did you know that Vermont has been named the Best Craft Brew state by Huffington Post? Bet ya didn’t. Are you too good for a decent hard working beer like Miller Light or Coors? Do you order beer based solely on clever names and packaging? Are you a total prick? Then come to Vermont and knock yourself out.
This week Western Carolina travels to Auburn. According to vegas, Auburn has been spotted 43 points to start. Trivia: what is a Catamount? Answer: who cares? They’ll lose big to an Auburn team that starts a cornerback at quarterback.
We leave you with USF and a Two. Yard. Punt.