Wednesday Quick Hitters

SMU Unveils Plans for New Indoor Practice Facility

The Ponies held their 2016 pro day at Southlake Carroll High School's indoor practice facility. The Ponies are building their own now. The Indoor Practice Facility will have a full sized football field, indoor track and a new grass practice field next to the facility. 

The timing is interesting as, in case you haven't heard, the Big 12 is taking applications for new members and their is nothing AD's love more than cranes and building stuff. SMU is also building a new swim center and completed a massive refurbishment of Moody Coliseum for the basketball teams. 

Pictures of the facility are here, the project is 80% funded and should be ready 16 months after building starts. 

Media Days are Happening for the Non-Power 5 Schools

CUSA and the Sun Belt had media days this week. Lots of twittering, snapchatting, and general shenanigans. Good times were had by all. 

Sean Kugler's Beard is Ruling You

The unmitigated winner of Conference USA Media Day and All Media Days was Sean Kugler's beard.

Since media day, Kugler's beard has been offered the defensive coordinator position at three Division II schools and Oregon State.

When the North Koreans attack, the US government has designated Sean Kugler's beard as an evacuation shelter. 

Sean Kugler's beard came to my house and started dating my mom. I didn't care. 

Sean Kugler's beard can order the McRib 365 days a year. 

Sean Kugler's beard won the nomination for president from every political party. The beard turned them all down because president of the free world was a lateral move at best. 

Sean Kugler's beard retroactively won Gino Torretta's Heisman Trophy.

Sean Kugler's beard cures zika.

Sean Kugler's beard doesn't wrestle alligators, it provides a safe sanctuary for them. 

Sean Kugler's beard won a grammy. 

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety named Sean Kugler's beard a top safety pick. 

Sean Kugler's beard wrote, directed and starred in a remake of Ghostbusters. Rotten Tomatoes certified it fresh.  

The Bureau of Land Management has officially designated Sean Kugler's beard as a National Park.

Lots of Folks Want to Come to the Big 12 

Apparently a ton of people haven't heard of the Longhorn Network because everyone is applying for the gig. It's like they're all posturing to ask the high maintenance, dramatic, bitchy, never putting out homecoming queen to go see some Nicholas Sparks movie. 

They've all made statements, we think if they were being honest they'd tell you something else. 

Let's start with Houston. 

“I am thrilled to have this opportunity to showcase the University of Houston. Our commitment to building a nationally competitive athletic program along with our academics and research is unwavering. UH is a proud member of Phi Beta Kappa and over the last decade has achieved designation as a Carnegie Tier One research institution. Our student population has grown to more than 43,000, third largest in Texas, and our vibrant residential population is among the highest. I could not be more proud that our university represents the fourth largest city in the nation and that our standard for excellence is second to none.”
— Houston President Renu Khator

Let us paraphrase...

“We’re a really big school. Our student population exceeds the capacity of our football stadium, so you’d think we would sell out every once and a while but whatever. Also, we’d like to keep our coach and this may be the only shot we have to do so.”

What about BYU...

“We are obviously excited the leadership of the Big 12 has advised commissioner Bob Bowlsby to review potential expansion candidates. BYU is known for its academic excellence and I believe we have an exceptional athletic program. As I’ve stated before, I would like to see our student-athletes compete at the highest level.”
— BYU AD Tom Holme

What Tom isn't telling you is...

“We made a terrible decision by going independent. We feel shame. If the Big 12 took as a football only member and required that we play all of our games on the road for the first five years, we would do it.”

Here's Colorado State...

“We are very aware of the news from (Tuesday), though it does not change where we are at this moment. We are still focused on the things we’ve always talked about and that’s being the best version of Colorado State that we can be and striving to be the preeminent program in the Mountain West.”
— Colorado State AD Joe Parker

What they really mean: 

“If, and I’m not saying there is, but if, a conference, again, not saying a specific conference, wants to give us a look, the yes, we would like that. Not that anyone is saying they will.”

Memphis...

“We work each day to build a championship-caliber athletic department where our student-athletes succeed in the classroom, on the field of play and in the community. The University is prepared to take action when opportunities to increase the level of positive attention and exposure for our city, campus and Athletic Department are presented. The University of Memphis continues to gain national recognition for its advancements in research, teaching and student accomplishments, and the Athletic Department is one part of that winning combination.”
— Memphis AD Tom Bowen

Reading between the lines: 

“Oh, I didn’t see you there Big 12. We were too busy over here being awesome and eating ribs. Oh you have an opening for your league? Well that’s just great. Good luck with that - now if you’ll excuse us we going to get back to making Memphis the Greatest place in the world.”

East Carolina...

“I strongly believe that East Carolina deserves to be in the Big 12 as we can deliver the entire state of North Carolina. We have been positioning ourselves to be the next member for the past 12 months and will continue to do so.”
— East Carolina AD Jeff Compher

Ok, this is hard to misinterpret but let's clarify: 

“We’re East Carolina, the flagship University of the east coast. What’s that? What about North Carolina, Duke, NC State etc... Never heard of them. If you could direct me to a website or perhaps a brochure I could read up on these so called ‘universities’.”

And Boise State...

“We’re very happy with where we’re at. [But] we’re always open to considering and evaluating opportunities that come before us.”
— Boise State AD Curt Apsey

What he meant to say...

“We have a girlfriend. She’s cute with a really awesome personality and she likes us a lot. That being said, we’re in an open relationship and she’s totally cool with me seeing other people.”