Nine weeks into the season, it's flown by. Seems like just yesterday you were catatonic, forced to watch baseball, not knowing if football season would ever come. The season is almost 2/3 over and before you know it we'll be catatonic, forced to watch the ESPN attempt to convince us that Warriors/Cavs is somehow the benchmark of sports excellence.
We're working on a cryogenic freezing system that lets us sleep through the useless other eight months of the year. Like Han Solo, every January we get dropped into frozen tomb while our wife and kids pretend to mourn then we are awakened every August and fortified with beer and queso for the four-month journey ahead.
All times Texas.
Tulsa at SMU 8:00 ESPN2
Don't be confused by all the SMU students dressed up as trust fund beneficiaries on Friday night. Those aren't Halloween costumes, that's called a Friday on the Hilltop.
Texas at Baylor 11:00 a.m. ESPNU
It's the Baptist SuperBowl on the banks of the Brazos. Forget the Bears 0-7 start, if Baylor wins Saturday they'll give Matt Rhule an extension and all the Dr. Pepper he can handle.
Tom Herman's press conference was...enlightening...we think. Watch this and tell us you don't believe in love.
TCU at Iowa State 2:30 ESPN2
TCU, beware Ames, Iowa. Those corn farmers and their thick ankled wives are gunning for you.
Iowa State's Matt Campbell assured Cyclone fans he's not leaving for another Power 5 job. It's the coaching equivalent of telling your high school girlfriend that you'll stay together when you leave for college. It's not true, but it preempts a ton of drama.
Houston at South Florida 2:45 ESPNU
Charlie Strong can't take his South Florida Bulls to Austin to beat the breaks off his old team, so instead, he'll send a message by beating his replacement's former team.
We're a little worried about the press continent at Major Applewhite's weekly briefings; the coach seems to be a bit on edge lately. That happens when you miss your nine win quota.
Mississippi State at Texas A&M 6:00 ESPN
In this Halloween season, we salute Nick Fitzgerald for donning his costume year round. It's an open concept, part caveman, part Frankenstein, and part Lurch.
Texas Tech at Oklahoma 7:00 ABC
Baker Mayfield gets one last chance to give Kliff Kingsbury a swirly on national TV. Baker may plant Kliff at midfield after this is over.
Louisiana Tech at Rice 2:30 FloSports
We had to look up what FloSports is, and we were shocked to find out that it shows sports like grappling, dance, and marching bands. Finally, a place where band nerds can gather to watch marching contests. There might be some flaws in your business model Flo, but you've got guts.
We'd pay to watch Rice's M.O.B. perform their halftime, satirical, riffs. It's entertaining and educational.
Texas State at Coastal Carolina 5:00 ESPN3
Tune in because Texas State has a legit shot at a W. Wins on Texas State's schedule come around about as often as Halley's comet.
Coastal Carolina somehow decided to leave the warm comforts of the FCS because they couldn't turn down that coveted Sun Belt invitation, the "free couch" of conference invitations.
Old Dominion at North Texas 5:30 ESPN3
Shockingly the FAU game only counted as one loss in North Texas slate. Lane Kiffin claimed he was so bored by the fourth quarter that he considered DJ'ing. Oh, Lane, that's the kind of maturity that guarantees no Power 5 school will ever entrust their program to your overly tanned hands.
UTSA at UTEP 7:00 CUSA.tv
Mike Price pointed out in his Monday presser that according to the Coyote and Roadrunner cartoons roadrunners are notoriously hard to kill. He makes a good point. We like Price because if nothing else he's made UTEP pressers the best in Texas. Far superior to anything Sean Kugler was doing at his, which usually just involved Kugs cleaning his glasses, staring at microphones, and grunting.