Another week is come and gone; we're now well into the second half of the season. Our ranking groupings are starting to distinguish themselves further. In honor of Thor opening and making almost $200 million domestically, we'd like to use Superhero weapons to categorize our Roundup brethren. Coolest to lamest, best to worst, hey if you've got a favorite Superhero weapon feel free to keep it to yourself! This is science, not a democracy.
Superman's Lazer Eyes: The old stare down.
The Horned Frog is capable of shooting blood out of their eyes, which is a cool trick, especially if you've got hemophobia. TCU made Texas bleed their own blood last Saturday, and with all the chaos in the Big 10, the Frogs may be a playoff team yet.
Batman's Utility Belt: The right tool for the job.
Batman always has the right tools or the job, right there on his utility belt. Nothing flashy, but if you need a grappling hook, it's right there.
Houston is now firmly established with D'Eriq King at quarterback. Too bad the Cougars spent so long searching for a quarterback, instead of using the one sitting there in the huddle with them.
SMU lost to UCF but gave the Knights all they could handle in the process. Chad Morris' rebuild is hunting big game now.
North Texas is now in the driver's seat in CUSA West. With UTEP and Rice left on the schedule, they aren't giving up their seat anytime soon.
Captain America's Shield: All Defense, not much offense.
They say the best offense is a good defense, Captain America's shield always struck me as somewhat pointless as an offensive weapon. I mean he can throw it at people but other than that its best trait is stopping bullets and other dudes from throwing their weapon at you.
Texas hired an alleged offensive mastermind in Tom Herman and a bonafide defensive genius in Todd Orlando. So far Herman's first season in Austin feels like Charlie Strong 2.0.
UTSA, like Texas, lost Saturday night after scoring just seven points. The UTSA offense had three cracks at a tying touchdown from inside the ten, and may as well have been trying to score from Mars.
Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth: The Truth Hurts.
The Lasso of truth is both underrated and pointless, on the one hand, you can compel people to tell the truth, on the other hand, Batman and most other supers get the truth out by kicking the hell out of a guy.
We're finding out the truth about Texas A&M. It's a truth we've always known; the September All-Stars are falling off their November cliff.
Speaking of Kliffs, the Big 12 has put Kliff Kingsbury in the lasso of truth, with four straight losses. Paging Sonny Dykes to Lubbock.
Green Lantern's Power Ring: Decent accessory, but not much else.
I mean, it's a ring. You used to get these out of Cracker Jack boxes. You can't get a hammer out of a box of Cracker Jacks. It's the crappy end of the Superhero weapon spectrum.
We'd like to congratulate Baylor on beating Kansas and emerging from the land of the winless. In tough times you can always count on Kansas to come along hand you a W.
Texas State might be getting better, shocking as that might seem, not that anyone in San Marcos seems to care.
Daredevil's Billy Club: It's a stick.
We're probably projecting our hatred of Ben Affleck's movie onto the Billy Club, but it's a stick. When they were handing out weapons and the first Super meeting, Daredevil was late, and all that was left was a stick.
UAB hadn't played football in two years, and they looked like '72 Dolphins against Rice on Saturday.
UTEP's superpower appears to be draining its offensive life force. The Miners are allowing nine points a game in CUSA play.