Week 2 Power Rankings AKA The Return of the Frog

The Roundup doesn't have a flashy playoff committee; we don't go out of our way to hang out with Condoleeza Rice or Barry Alvarez. We don't worry about watching all the games from the comfort of a swanky Dallas area hotel. We don't give two rips about who wants Bama, whether Clemson will repeat, whether Rosen or Darnold is the best in LA or if Harbaugh's britches are pleated or not. Those are foreign entities; this is about Texas by God - the greatest country in the world. 

Simple. We have twelve teams in the state we rank'em by our guts and perhaps just south of there. We don't rely on polls or style points. If you dare call it scientific, we will come for you. 

Let's rank'em. 

1. TCU

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The Frogs made a statement in Fayetteville. How strong that statement was will depend on how bad Arkansas is, and we reckon they're not good. We will reserve judgment on Kenny Hill until November, as the Who said, Won't Be Fooled Again, but TCU has a LOT of guys who can catch things and run with those things and take those things to the end zone. 

2. Texas

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After all the hyperbole, conjecture, and new strip club-esque locker room, Texas stubbed their toe in the opener, good to get that out of the way now. A week later Tom Herman righted the ship by kicking the hell out of Mountain West cellar dweller San Jose State. Their hold on the second spot is perilous; the Horns travel to USC, a loss there and the pitchforks come back out. 

3. Houston

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That son-bitch Harvey robbed us of an epic Houston/UTSA game. What did Houston have to gain in San Antonio? A chance to beat a really good team that no one knows about. Folks will put more stock in the Cougar win at Arizona, but the Wildcats are on the ass-end of the PAC 12 - the whole thing. UTSA would've given us three or four coming out moments to start the season. Weather sucks. 

4. SMU

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Are we prepared to live in a world where SMU is good? Maybe real good? And allegedly without paying dudes? Such is the odd reality in which we're living. Chad Morris might be a wizard, then again he might get rolled by TCU this week, and we look foolish. I own camouflage cargo shorts; I have no qualms about looking foolish. 

5. Texas Tech

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The football world went nuts when Tech shows some semblance of defense against and decent Eastern Washington team. Then boom, Tech takes a bye week. Let's hope the Red Raiders don't forget about that phase of the game this week against Arizona State. Just to be safe, take the over. 

6. Texas A&M

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We're officially putting the Aggies on upset alert. This A&M team stinks of something, whether it's Kevin Sumlin's burning buns or smell of the wheels coming off the program. Maybe that's the same thing. We're streaming our consciousness here. Louisiana Lafayette could come into Kyle Field and punch A&M in the eye and steal their lunch money. You heard it here first. Unless other people are talking about it, then we're just part of the problem. 

7. UTSA

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UTSA should have beaten Baylor by 20 points. They were that much better. As you can tell, we think Baylor is awful (perhaps even winless awful but we're not saying that out loud). Again, how much does the Houston cancellation suck? UTSA might be a top 30 team if the Cougars came to town. As it stands they play their annual SWAC opponent this week in Southern. The Southern Band, the Human Juke Box, is making the trip, so expect UTSA to lose halftime.  

8. North Texas

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We are optimistic about the Mean Green, even after they lost by a lot to SMU. Well, other than the defense and the running game, we are optimistic. North Texas travels to Iowa this weekend. Expect that game to be closer than you'd expect. Remember Iowa typically take a dump in a non-league game. It's usually against North Dakota State, or at least it feels that way. North Texas can be the 2017 North Dakota State. Dare to dream. 

9. Baylor

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Oh, Baylor, it's so much worse than we thought. Remember when the higher ups in the athletic department assured us that they'd have patience with the Matt Rhule rebuild? Maybe put those quotes in your back pocket for quick access. The Bears go to Duke and play underrated wizard David Cutcliffe; we say underrated because no one's linked Ole Miss's demise to the Rebels firing Cutcliffe way back in 2004 a year removed from a ten win season and after five straight winning seasons. Don't tangle with Cutcliffe; he's a down low ninja. 

10. Rice

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We're somewhat bullish on the Owls. That's the good one right? Whatever. Rice survived a trip to Australia, where there's some legit scary shit, then a hurricane and after everything was said and done beat the breaks off UTEP. Bailiff's grand redesign may have some traction. Not enough to beat Houston, but traction nonetheless. 

11. Texas State

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So it's bullish, right? We think that about Texas State as well. The Bobcats took on the Mile High Hippies and gave the Buffs all they could handle, all after skimming by Houston Baptist. Wait, can a team improve week to week, especially a young team like Texas State? The 'Cats have a chance to get after Appy State this weekend. Maybe Everett Withers can concoct an offense or something between now and then. 

12. UTEP

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Ok, listen, the world is a better place when UTEP is good at football. It's a known fact. These are hard times in El Paso, dark times for a beautiful place with great people. Rice took a crowbar to the Miners in UTEP's damn living room Saturday night. Now comes Arizona at home on a Friday night, is it the most desperate moment in Sean Kugler's stretch? Feels like it, but then UTEP might just roll over for 'Zona. 

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