Planning Your Football Weekend: Week 9

Let’s get real. It’s week nine. We could make all the speeches, encourage you, chew your ass, at this point none of it matters. You’ve got to draw on whatever motivates you, deep down. If that’s your love of the college football, great. If that’s your desire to avoid meaningful conversations and social interactions, go with that. Either way, it’s week nine, we’ve got three days of football coming.

All Times Texas. Unless you live in El Paso.

Thursday, October 25th

Baylor at West Virginia

6:00 pm FS1 / FSGo Video

Baylor heads to Morgantown for a little Thursday night action. Don’t expect the festivities to be any less flammable, couches will burn on Thursday night just as good as will on a Saturday night. That, by the way, is the second verse of West Virginia’s state song.

Baylor might feel right at home; they’re used to burning stuff, instead of couches it’s usually books and victim statements.

Saturday, October 27th

Texas Tech at Iowa State

11:00 am ESPN2 / WatchESPN Video

The last time Tech traveled to Ames; the Cyclones put 66 on ‘em in a 55 point win. No one’s scored that often in Iowa since Poison’s “Look What the Cat Dragged In" tour hit Des Moines and Iowa City back in ‘87.

It was the first time Iowa State scored that many points without Fred Hoiberg getting a shot off.

Don’t get too comfortable Iowa State fans, at any moment Matt Campbell can still bolt for a real Power 5 job.

TCU at Kansas

2:00 pm FS1 / FSGo Video

Cue Admiral Ackbar because “IT’S A TRAP!”’

At this point, a trip out of town might be just was TCU’s needs. Oddly a visit from TCU might be just what Kansas needs as well. We get the feeling if the Frogs lose in Lawrence Gary might leave most of his traveling party behind.

What we can’t understand is why Kansas couldn’t spread some of that Adidas basketball recruiting money over to the football program. A couple fivers could go a long way.

KaVontae Turpin outran Oklahoma on Saturday but not New Mexico on Tuesday.

South Florida at Houston

2:30 pm ABC / ESPN

Two-thirds of the Tom Herman “it’s not you it’s me” triangle meet when Chuck Strong comes to Houston.

Tom went and took Chuck’s gig and like so many men who’ve lost their only one and only, Chuck’s moved to Florida and is trying to convince himself that he’s better off.

Navy did everything but waterboard Ed Oliver. Houston didn’t send the game tape to the AAC office, they sent it to Interpol.

Cincinnati at SMU

2:30 pm CBSSN / CBSSN Video

The age-old Cincy/SMU rivalry. This one dates all the way back to 2013. “How I Met Your Mother” has a more storied history.

Don’t worry Cincy, lots of Top 20 teams get bumped off by Temple. It happens almost exclusively in basketball, and we can’t think of any right off the top of our heads in football, but hey, even if you’re on the wrong side of history, you’re still making history. Just ask Jimmy Carter.

New Orleans in beautiful this time of year, the weather is cooling off, the Holidays are just around the corner, and, if you take the street car a few miles west of the Quarter, you can see Willie Fritz turn a robust shade of red after losing to SMU.

In Chad Morris’ defense, he did tell Arkansas fans that he was going to bring the same exciting brand of football to Fayetteville as he’d set loose on the Hilltop. The fact that his most impressive win is over a bad Tulsa team is technically on brand.

Rice at North Texas

3:00 pm $espn+ Video

The Owls haven’t won since they left SWAC competition in August.

Rice students have given up on football season and look forward to dominating CUSA Number Sense once again.

North Texas is reeling from a loss to UAB. We haven’t seen a second-half stinker like that since the last 30 minutes of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

The Mean Green suffered their second conference loss, but Seth Littrell’s chin lacks just two infinity stones before becoming all powerful.

New Mexico State at Texas State

6:00 pm espn3 Video / KVNA (cable)

New Mexico State takes a break from playing Liberty to travel to San Marcos.

At this point we’re modifying our “Win More than Two” campaign to “Let’s Just Win One More.” These ad campaigns must be grounded in reason and reality unless you’re running for public office.

Maybe Everett should turn playcalling duties over to the Salmon Sisters. They’ve got those NFL tablets and stuff.

Texas State continues to deal with offensive line issues. We’d compare them to a rusty screen door, but rusty screen doors usually make people pause.

Texas A&M at Mississippi State

6:00 pm ESPN / WatchESPN Video

The Aggies run into Nick Fitzenstein for the last time. Like the pitching staff of the Baltimore Orioles, Fitzgerald’s been ineffectively wild.

Folks were excited to see Pennsylvania native Joe Morehead take over in Starkville, but a Yankee hasn’t struggled like this in Mississippi since Reconstruction.

For Jimbo and the Aggies, they’re entering the Sumlin-Zone, the part of the season where they go 0-for November in the SEC while they workshop February signing day hashtags.

Texas at Oklahoma State

7:00 pm ABC / espn3 Video

Like non-Billy Ray Cyrus fans, Oklahoma State supporters are struggling to find substance beyond Mike Gundy’s mullet.

This weekend the Pokes are wearing Barry Sanders throwbacks. Those Okie State teams were amazing, first in your hearts, third in the Big 8.

ABC chose this for its prime-time match-up; apparently flights to competitive games were too expensive.

Tom Herman’s Texas squad is ranked as high as sixth in some polls. The Jenner kids think that’s too much too soon.

UAB at UTEP

6:30 pm $espn+ Video

UAB’s planning on a new 45,000 seat downtown stadium for their 20,000 fans. Based on the preliminary renderings there’s lots of seating to cover with tarps.

The renderings also show the new venue will be in Downtown Birmingham, near the Sheraton and Weston Hotels and…the social security building. Come for the football, stay for your SSI benefits.

It goes with out saying, but operation “Rush Whatever Field Your are Nearest To” is in full effect should UTEP beat UAB on Saturday night. For roughly three dozen of you that’ll mean you get to rush the actual Sun Bowl.

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