In the old days, before helmets and face masks, a fullback could let his freak flag fly, grow out his hair, and run about the football field like a Greek God. Now, helmets cover the best lettuce, leaving a shroud of mystery over the game. UNTIL NOW!
Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you the Roundup's All Hair Squad. Let the lettuce flow.
The Holy S**t He Must Shampoo AND Condition Squad...
Breckyn Hager - Texas: The only thing that would make this look better is his old man's neck roll. Ok, and maybe his handle bar too.
Turner Coxe - SMU: The amount of brushing it must take to get that level of volume, I can't even imagine.
Josiah Tauaefa - UTSA: The Once and Future King. Mr. Tauaefa's hair once scaled Mount Everest without oxygen using only a number 2 pencil.
Garrett Kaufman - TCU: Mastery of symmetry between the facial and scalp hair is a foolish dream for most of us mere mortals, but not for Mr. Kaufman. In his spare time he plays bass for Danzig.
The When In Doubt, Highlight Squad
Aaron Cephus - Rice: Combining a little blond with a little Kid 'n Play high top action. The House Party movies have never received their just due.
Derrick Tucker - A&M: This takes more planning than I've ever been comfortable pulling off. The blond Christmas tree topper is the gift that keeps on giving.
Manase Mose - North Texas: Little streak of red, teased out in the front, shaved the sides, bit of a Canadian tux in the back. If only I had the balls to do any of these moves, let alone all four. Well played.
The All Black Watch Team
Cole Miller - Houston: The cohesion of the chin beard with the head lettuce is glorious. Give this man a sword and a dire wolf.
Robert Pufahl - UTEP: Tormund Giantsbane's body double? A real life viking? Championship level drapery? Yes, yes, and yes.
All Clippies and Rubber Bands Team
Jamycal Hasty - Baylor: Some say Mr. Hasty possesses magical powers that are unleashed when he lets his hair down. Eagle scouts tie less impressive knots.
Reggie Chevis - Houston: Everyday is a new and exciting day for Mr. Chavis. Do I want bangs in the face? Full Rasta? Pull it back? Let it flow? Beard game is on point no matter what.
Justice Bean - A&M: That one kid from Stranger Things grew up and started playing wide receiver for Texas A&M.
Barb is still missing.
Jalen Guyton - North Texas: Bed hair, don't care. Guyton showing off an abundance of hair while the rest of us live with combovers.He's also auditioning for a role in Trolls 2.
Uelese Buckingham - UTEP: This is classic throwback hair to a glorious time when a full swath of lettuce was common place, the 1970s. If Buckingham grew a mustache his picture alone might be potent enough to steal your lady and you'd be unable and unwilling to stop him.
McLane Carter - Texas Tech: We have two wishes for Mr. Carter - 1) that he only wears tank tops and 2) that a can of Copenhagen is never far from his grasp.
Caveon Patton - Texas State: When they make the Anderson Varejao biopic, the'll call Mr. Patton to play the lead. Half the girls I went to high school with would've killed for those curls, the other half actually did.
Jack Greene - Rice: Mr. Greene is our spirit animal. This Tennessee Waterfall is everything that makes America great. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.