We decided to coagulate all our invitation letters in on spot. Like when you clean out your garage and you put all your old roller blades in a bin. Someday we'll look back on this and say, "this is where it all started." Or we'll say, "wow, we wasted a lot of time."
Joe Karlgaard - Rice
The final invite is out. Good thing, out typewriter needs a new ribbon. The school that brought us Tobin Rote, Froggy Wilson, Tommy Kramer, Bert Emmanuel, Trevor Cobb, Jarrett Dillard and Chase Clement is on the clock.
Rick Hart - SMU
The Mustangs are up next. The college team of Dallas (ignoring Texas, A&M, Oklahoma, et al) is a no brainer to rejoin the league. We're overnighting an invite to the Hilltop.
Lisa Campos - UTSA
Back when the SWC was blowing and going, UTSA wasn't even a football school. We don't care, the Runners have made up for lost time and we need that San Antonio flavor in the new SWC.
Larry Teis - Texas State
Alright, everyone calm the hell down, of course we're inviting Texas State. They pushed their chips in and came to the big boy table of FBS football and while success hasn't followed, there are worse places to spend a Saturday afternoon.
Jim Senter - UTEP
We head way out west to the town of El Paso for played out Marty Robbins tunes and the best tacos in America. Welcome to the league UTEP, now about that new orange helmet...
Wren Baker - North Texas
Let's send a dispatch to Denton to invite the Mean Green and AD Wren Baker. It's been a long road North Texas fans, but football is coming home.
Chris Pezman - Houston
The winningest program in the state the last five plus years? Of course Houston is getting an invite to the new SWC.
Jeremiah Donati - TCU
Our last invite goes out to Jeremiah Donati, the new AD at TCU. The Frogs finally earned a Big 12 invite after years in the desert and once in, they've made themselves quite at home.
Kirby Hocutt - Texas Tech
Let's cross the Caprock, past the stockyards in Brownfield, and into Jones AT&T Stadium, provided it's not flooded. The SWC waited almost fifty years to invite the Red Raiders, we won't.
Mack Rhoades - Baylor
Alright, let's get Baylor's Mack Rhoades out of the way. It's not they're going anywhere A&M and Texas aren't. Unless they aren't invited in which case they'll grab on to Chris Del Conte's ankles and scream NO!!! Let's try this approach before things get desperate Mack.
Scott Woodward - Texas A&M
Invitations are going out. It's like a hipster wedding except we don't want to punch everyone. We've been hard at it on the old typewriter, banging out invites to rejoin the SWC - the new look SWC with twelve teams, all contained in one state. Today we bang one out to A&M AD Scott Woodward.
Chris Del Conte - Texas
There is a time for all-hair teams and then there is a time for action. Now is the time for action. We've taken the liberty of penning a letter to a few critical Athletic Directors with formal invites to the new Southwest Conference. It's an open invite to right a wrong and correct history. We'll start with Texas AD Chris Del Conte. Del Conte's agreement is important but then if he doesn't, as MTV's "My Super Sweet 16" taught us, just go ahead and have the party anyway and they'll get jealous and show up and of course we'll let them in after an awkward apology.
Just check yes Chris. Say no to racism.